Single Home Owner Woes: Rodents

It’s 4:15am. I awaken to strange noises. I know it’s not a dream, the dog has perked up and is staring into the connected bathroom, mimicking my exact posture. Is it water dripping? Is it someone walking upstairs? Maybe the furnace? The dog and I continue to stare into the bleak darkness, guessing at what is creating the noise.

I just turned 36 last week. Why is it that I am terrified that a rodent is lurking in my bathroom? If this was a scary movie, I would be the girl that made the movie flop….why go into the creepy dark bathroom with strange noises (and possible serial killer wearing a terrifying mask) when I can be the girl who leaves the house and calls for help. Movie is over in 20 minutes and makes zero money :).

“Are you sure it just wasn’t a bad dream?”

“Yes, I heard the repulsive sound of vermin trying to enter my space!” Haha, I listened to the noise for almost 15 minutes before putting on my “big girl pants” and running for help.

When I have heard similar noises in my home while living alone, I wait until light and look for signs of rodents: fecal matter and gnaw marks. I know that not just single people feel the agony of dealing with rodents entering your home. Most of the time, the chore is delegated to one partner while the other partner cowers and stands on the furniture. My brother’s wife is the spider remover. During his formative years, he always had issues with arachnids. Luckily, he married someone to counter his fears and make the home an enjoyable living environment. His wife is super sweet and usually puts the spider back outdoors.

Unfortunately, my tolerance of rodents does not allow for the safe return of the mouse to the outdoors. My irrational fear says the mouse will just return and cause more troubles, possibly eating through electrical wires (found a mouse electrocuted in my electrical panel once). I am not a fan of poison, but when calling an exterminator, that is pretty much the only feasible solution they offer. Traditional wooden traps are my go to and they are so cheap, I can discard the trap in the trash when it’s job has been completed.

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In conclusion, I am a 36 year old woman who runs to her dad when things go bump in the night. I am not a savior of all creatures and PETA probably will condone this blog. But the average homeowner shares my affinity for rodents making nests in their home. Good luck with your traps, poisons, exterminators or good luck living in a copacetic environment with disease carriers.